either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
