Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
