She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize