I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
