i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
