my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
