Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Me too!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
