OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
