See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
