Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
