You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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