I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
