so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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