she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
