Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
