I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
