he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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