I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Randomize
