he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
