I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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