don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
