Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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