I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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