and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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