she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
