I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
