I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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