I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
