Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
