Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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