I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
