So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
