I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
