people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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