i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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