That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
