fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
