I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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