I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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