you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
