I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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