Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
