You really coming over, don't trick.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
