I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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