Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
