I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
