Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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