so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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