Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
