I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize