No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
farters have to be the big spoon...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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