well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
