We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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