You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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