I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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