i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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