It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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