Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
