So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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