i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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